There is a saying that goes, “Behind every successful man is a powerful woman.” I leaned heavily on my father who is my mentor, my role model and my entrepreneurial buddy. Anuradha Das Mathur, a wildly successful Indian Woman entrepreneur who published her 2018 article on “How Humanity Can Help You Succeed in the New Corporate World” emphasized,
“Behind every successful daughter is a father who always stood by her side, let her follow dreams and gave her wings to fly”
but more importantly
“Behind every successful girl, there is an open minded father who trusted his daughter….and not the society”
He has taught me a lot and I honour and credit him for his wisdom. I would not have achieved the success I have, if not for my father Peter. Ruby, my mother continues to be and is heavily a part of this huge support. I settled a 1.2 million vatu 2,500 square metres of green land and space on the island of Espiritu Santo, Vanuatu. The day was the 8th of June 2017. On the 20th October 2018 when I had my official paperwork for the real estate property, the Picton Castle sailed into the beautiful Espiritu Santo harbour. This was an international settlement!
I remembered sobbing vividly so hard one tropical evening with my mother Ruby and her sister Helen in their very smokey open traditional bbq’ed kitchen-style whare.
I have just recently returned from Vanuatu on a 2 weeks holiday with my family after my second humanitarian mission with the NZ Red Cross overseas. I have never had to have this conversation before with my mother. Ruby had always seen me as a “fiercely independent young woman” who did not need their help. For the first time, she openly admitted that at times, she “forgot she had a daughter overseas” and instead focused on her youngest daughter in Port Vila. Fair call. But she did emphasized that there was not a single time she ever stopped thinking about me being so far away. I told my mama, her letter writing and the envelopes that arrived in my letter box with a Vanuatu Stamp on it was my only emotional support that kept me going. She loved me so much that way and I acknowledged that. It brought so much joy reading her letters. The two of us have maintained our traditional letter writing despite the advancement of technology. She does not have a mobile phone either so that helped her pen letters instead.
The smokey fire combined with my salty tears as I sobbed uncontrollably really made my mother very emotional too. I struggled to even openly talk about my sturggles as a young single woman overseas with no family. That was the hardest. Ruby had tears. Helen had tears. They sympathised and empathised. They both listened as I attempted through my tears to tell them-“I struggled through the years overseas on my own.” It was difficult at times but I just managed. I don’t know quite know how I had managed to maintain my emotional stamina through some very challenging times there, without all of you. I don’t know how I managed to buy two real estate properties overseas on my own without maintaining a full time job (I was only working 4 days a week for at least 8 years). This is the third real estate property that I have completed it’s payments. I have no debts on this property and it felt good. But it has taken me ten years to finally settle this asset! I have no regrets. I have an asset on a tropical island in the South Pacific. A heavenly slice of this piece of Paradise with so much more to offer the world with it’s own culture and heritage, its regeneration and rejuvenation after all the natural disasters.
The next chapter of life and adventures that await has made me do a lot of reflections again. As I proceeded to tell my mother about how difficult it will be being a full time student with no income from 2019, she reassured me that “it will be alright, things will work out and you will make the right choices to help you follow through. We will organise some spiritual pastoral care.” I knew I was lacking that spiritual care for a number of years for my own well being.
How on earth does Ruby know? She has never lived in a foreign country to pay for everything. She has always worked freely to survive on the land. Its free. I don’t have any of those. My choices are a wee bit more complicated than that. I have to pay for real estate insurances, council rates, property manager fees, extra costly repairs, car repairs and insurances and heaven knows what natural disasters are on their way. She heard me. She listened. She empathised. I respected her opinion. I respected her mana. I respected her life. I love her. Quietly, I knew she was still very honoured and proud of a daughter so far away.
The biggest lessons I came away with was;
A bird has two wings to fly. You will need a second wing. You will need that second pair. You have had a lot to deal with. You have been so busy. That second wing will be so important to help you fly better.
That is true!
Will I ever find that second pair of wings soon? I’ll find out in the next three years I suppose! For now building and crafting a career, efficiently maintaining and driving a business, and serving and contributing to humanity stays as priorities.